


Chaos is What Killed the Dinosaurs, Darling

by Theatreandwritingareeverything



Category: Les Misérables - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Cosette And Enjolras Are Siblings, Heathers AU, I'm Bad At Tagging, I'm Sorry Victor Hugo, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-05-18
Updated: 2015-07-09
Packaged: 2018-03-31 05:31:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,344
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3966193
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Theatreandwritingareeverything/pseuds/Theatreandwritingareeverything
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Remember that time on tumblr when everyone was like "Les Mis Heathers AU"? Well, hey there pal friends, this is that. Eponine is Veronica, the Heathers are Enjolras, Courfeyrac and Combeferre. Grantaire is kind of Ram and Kurt but I'm putting him with Enjolras because I will never not ship those two. Montparnasse is JD. Because this is Heathers, people are going to die and I will post warnings before those chapters.  I'm really bad at summaries aren't I? Bare with me I'm new at this.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Heathers--Enjolras (Chandler) Combeferre (Duke) Courfeyrac (McNamara)  
> Kurt/Ram--Grantaire  
> JD--Montparnasse  
> Veronica--Eponine  
> Cosette and Marius are also in this but they are underclassmen and I may work in others later, also certain aspects of the characters/plot of the movie are going to be changed/not mentioned for the sake of the plot of the fic and I do apologize if some of the characters are OOC, I'm trying to combine these two as best as I can and fear I may not hit the nail right on the head. I'll try my best though and I would love feedback if you'd be willing to give it.

High School sucks. No one can deny it, and those who do probably made it suck for other people. At least, that's what Eponine Thenardier would say if you asked her about it (which you wouldn't because everyone at Musain High either didn't know her, didn't like her, or was afraid of her.) For Eponine, the people who made it suck were, as everyone called them, the Jeans. Jean Combeferre, was known for about three things. He was hot, he was rich, and he was smart. Combeferre was set to be valedictorian and go off to some ivy league school to study pre-med, and teachers loved him, which was probably why the Jeans got away with as much as they did. Jean Courfeyrac was dating Combeferre, captain of the cheer squad, and probably the nicest of the Jeans, but being the nicest Jean was kind of like being the dumbest member of Mensa. The Jeans were led by Jean Enjolras, who was the worst excuse for a human being Eponine had ever met. He was gorgeous, unfairly so, but he was also the one who could make a freshman cry just by looking at the poor kid, and frequently did so for fun. The only ones spared from Enjolras's wrath were his sister, Cosette, (who was a freshman and basically had the school wrapped around her finger because if someone made her upset, they'd have Enjolras to deal with), the other Jeans, and his boyfriend, Grantaire, who had once been Eponine's best and only friend, but then Enjolras made out with him at homecoming sophomore year and he was initiated into the group. No, group wasn't the word. Cult was the word. Eponine had tried to stay friends with him, but every time they'd make plans he'd either cancel last minute or bring Enjolras, who would then be all over him and after trying not to watch them make out with each other for about twenty minutes, Eponine would leave. Plus, Grantaire changed a lot after dating Enjolras and soon had the same "I'm better than you attitude" he himself used to despise. Then again, that's to be expected of the quarterback of the football team. 

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Eponine had been lonely throughout most of high school. Until one day, the first day of their senior year, when she happened to over hear something in the gymnasium on her way to the bathroom about half way through first period. "Gentlemen, shouldn't you be in class? Unless you have hall passes, I'll be seeing you in detention this afternoon" Without thinking, she scribbled something down on a piece of paper, grabbed some decorating supplies from the janitor's closet next to the gym, and entered the room. "Actually, Mr. Javert, we do have hall passes. We have to decorate these posters, and we needed the space since we have a lot to do." She handed avert her excellent forgery, and he glanced at it before handing it back to her. "My apologies." he said gruffly before leaving the room, probably looking for more people he could give detention on the first day of school. He probably had a record he tried to beat every year. As soon as he was gone, Enjolras removed himself from Grantaire's lap and approached Eponine. He said nothing along the lines of 'thank you', just took the paper from her less harshly than he normally would have and muttered "impressive". He passed it to Courfeyrac and Combeferre, who had followed him shortly after he stood up. As they analyzed the paper, he stopped Eponine from leaving the room. "Wait. That's pretty excellent forgery, how many teachers can you do?" Eponine hoped she hid her shock well when she responded "um, all of them." Enjolras raised an eyebrow, not sure if he believed her, but then Grantaire provided the confirmation he was looking for. He walked up to them, wrapping an arm around Enjolras's waist and said "She's good, babe. She can probably do just about anyone. Used to get us out of class all the time in middle school." Enjolras nodded, then to Eponine said "Sit with us today at lunch." He then turned his attention back to his boyfriend, and Eponine took that as her cue to leave. She got her book for her next class, and wondered if that had actually just happened. 

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When Eponine approached the table, she noticed that every eye in the senior class was on her. Enjolras motioned for her to sit, and she did. He looked her up and down, clearly unimpressed with her torn jeans, dirty sneaker, and old t-shirt. They sat in awkward silence before Enjolras said "name?" and jolted everyone back to reality. "Me?" Eponine asked, feeling stupid the minute it came out of her mouth. Combeferre, who wasn't one to handle stupid questions patiently, rolled his eyes and said "Who else would he be talking to?" Eponine shrugged and said "Yeah, that was dumb. Sorry, I'm Eponine." It was Courfeyrac who responded with "I'm Courfeyrac, that's Combeferre, Enjolras, and Grantaire." Obviously she knew that, but didn't say so. She simply nodded, and sat with them for awhile until Enjolras said "So, Eponine, we've been talking. We've decided that you have some potential, and as we hate to see that wasted, we're going to help you. You're welcome." Eponine, shocked, decided it would be in her best interest to just respond with "thank you." And Combeferre said "We'll need hall passes for 6th period. Meet us back in the gymnasium. You do have a makeup bag, yes?" She nodded. "Bring that. Grantaire's an artist, I'm sure he can fix whatever it is you were going for." "You're also going to need a change of clothes. Don't have plans after school, we're going to the mall. Do you have money?" She shook her head no. "Ah. Not to worry, there are ways around that. See you 6th."  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
Grantaire did, apparently, fix what Eponine was going for, because when he finished, Courfeyrac had almost squealed, Combeferre nodded in approval, and Enjolras wrapped his arms around Grantaire's neck and kissed him. "You're amazing, baby." Grantaire blushed. Eponine rarely saw him blush when they had been close. "Thanks,E, I really didn't have to do too much. She's not ugly." Enjolras nodded, "No, she isn't. But she wasn't pretty, you made that happen." Eponine wondered if they remembered she was in the room. Her question was answered when Enjolras said, "Ok hold still, I'm going to do your hair now." "You do hair?" she asked him. He rolled his eyes. "Who do you think does Cosette's?" Eponine wanted to say "Cosette." but she knew that would probably terminate the potential of having a group of friends, and she wanted to see where this thing went. Enjolras had done a flawless French braid in her hair within minutes and then the bell rang. The rest of the day was mainly uneventful, although she did notice some guys staring at her who wouldn't have done that normally, and she could have sworn she heard her name in several whispered conversations throughout the day. She packed her things quickly and then walked out the door into the parking lot of the school. Grantaire was there waiting for her. "Hey Eponine, you ready to go? We're taking Enjolras's car, it's the red one over there." He pointed to a car that probably cost more than Eponine's house, and walked casually over to it. Courfeyrac, Combeferre, Enjolras, and Cosette were already there. "Cosette, this is Eponine." Enjolras said in answer to his younger sister's raised eyebrow. "Are you new here?" she asked, surprisingly pleasantly, as Eponine had expected Cosette to have a similar demeanor to her brother. "No, I just...uh...we just started hanging out today." "Eponine has excellent forgery skills." Combeferre explained. And then they all climbed into Enjolras's car. " Come to the mall, Cosette? We could use your eyes. Eponine needs some serious help." Cosette, probably used to Enjolras's bluntness, seemed relatively unphased but gave Eponine a quick apologetic look, and said "Ok." After hours of dressing rooms and Courfeyrac trying to show her how to properly flirt her way out of paying for the clothes (which she was surprisingly good at), she returned home, and practically collapsed in bed,still wondering what the hell had just happened. 

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The first time Eponine did something mean to someone was three weeks into the school year. Enjolras had asked her to forge some graffiti in the boys bathroom in the handwriting of one of the kids competing for valedictorian against Combeferre. A guy named Joly, who had a perfect record until Enjolras had gotten her involved. The poor kid got a suspension, and because he wasn't in school to learn some of the math material, failed a test, thus ruining his chances for the position. When he realized this, he started crying, and was comforted by a pretty Jamaican girl and a clumsy bald boy. Eponine felt terrible but laughed with Enjolras because she felt like she now had to. Despite herself, she quickly became one of the "cool kids" she so vehemently hated for years. She liked the way people looked at her with awe. She knew she shouldn't, but she did, and as much as she felt bad about it, she intended to do what it takes to maintain her friendship with the Jeans. And the longer she spent time with them, the more she saw their redeeming qualities, the ones the rest of the school didn't get to see. She used these to erase whatever doubt she felt about her friends. Enjolras was loyal to those he considered his friends. Eponine got her period one day and didn't want to take gym, and when the teacher wouldn't let her sit out, Enjolras was in the woman's face within seconds, the future lawyer spewing facts and statistics so convincingly the teacher excused them both in apology. Courfeyrac was funny, and amazing at cheering her up. Whenever she had a bad day, or the bullshit at home was extra awful, she'd come to him. He got her laughing every time. Combeferre was a great tutor. The Jeans wanted her to be in their classes, so Combeferre helped her study, and she went from a C-D student to an A-B student because he taught her how she needed to work better than any teacher ever did. She was able to move up to the honors program that year, which she had never been able to do before. Grantaire really wasn't as big a jerk as she thought, he was just in love and Enjolras was a good boyfriend to him. She learned that Grantaire hadn't been forced to join the football team but that he really liked to play but was afraid to try out for a school team and it was Enjolras who patiently talked him through everything he needed to do for his try-out junior year. As it turned out he was so good he had replaced the old quarterback as a starter his first year. Courfeyrac had helped get Combeferre through his parents' divorce, which had been really hard on him. He had stayed with Combeferre every night for two weeks, ready to comfort him in any way he could. Combeferre had been there for Courfeyrac when his mom was in a car accident. She was still in a coma, and on the anniversary of the accident, Courfeyrac, who was normally talkative spent most of the day with his face buried in Combeferre's neck, saying little to nothing. Eponine gave them a packet of hall passes. That was the only time Enjolras ever thanked her. It was moments like these that made Eponine realize that they were human. She was able then to use those thoughts to convince herself that the people whose lives she was making miserable deserved it. Deep down she knew it wasn't right, but she was able to block those thoughts out and continue in her newfound routine. At least, that is, until she met Montparnasse.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Basically, Montparnasse happens and people react.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooooo I'm a giant tool for not updating sooner but between writers' block, finals, and some summer stuff I did, it was difficult to find any time. I promise once I really get into the plot it will be easier for me to write more, and Ill be able to do longer chapters and more frequent updates. Thanks a million for sticking around. Also there's some strong language in this chapter so if you're sensitive to that, I'd read with caution or skip this chapter.

She hadn't even noticed him at first, which was odd. Usually, it's hard not to notice a kid walking around a high school he just got to like he owned the place. It is even more difficult to ignore the presence of a guy walking around a high school wearing a top hat. Montparnasse, however, had an air about him that made both of these things seem so normal that he didn't stand out to anyone at all. That is, until some of the guys on the football team caught wind of Courfeyrac discussing the new kid whom he called "Baberaham Lincoln." ("He's hot, he's wearing a top hat, this is a opportunity needed to take before someone else did." "Regardless, Courf, you're dating me." "you know I love you." "You two are very cute, but is someone going to inform me and Eponine of this guy's real name?" "It's Montparnasse, love." "Thank you, R.") He was pointing out the new kid in question when the jocks decided to engage Montparnasse in a fistfight because they disapproved of his fashion choices. This was to be expected. What was not expected, however was the part of the exchange when Montparnasse took off his top hat, retrieved a switchblade, and pulled it on the other boys. A teacher quickly broke up the fight, but not before Eponine had decided she was pretty into this Montparnasse kid. Unfortunately, though, Eponine was unable to see him for a while because of the whole he-got-detention-for-threatening-to-stab-a-bunch-of-people thing. Even more unfortunately, her friends were trying to set her up with someone and Montparnasse was not an option. Not one of them approved of him. Enjolras had told her "Ugh, no, date someone civilized." Combeferre had reasoned "If he brought a switchblade to a school, he can't be very intelligent, Ponine. Date someone you can have a real conversation with." Courfeyrac had said simply "You can do better." And Grantaire had just raised his eyebrows, widened his eyes and then vigorously shook his head no, because she had told him about her interest of dating Montparnasse via a note in class. She dropped the subject and a week or two went by before she saw him again.

This time it was outside of school, and she was with Enjolras, buying some snacks for a movie night with Enjolras, Grantaire, Courfeyrac, Combeferre, Cosette, and Cosette's boyfriend Marius. Movie night for them though, usually consisted of talking about people until later in the night, and then actually turn on the movie (during which Enjolras and Grantaire would either start out cuddling or quietly fighting and end up making out and getting heated enough that they'd go to Enjolras' roo about halfway through the movie, Courfeyrac would get bored and drag Combeferre into another room to do God-knows-what, and Cosette would fall asleep, thus leaving Eponine and Marius to be the only ones to get through the movie.) Finally, the group (minus Cosette who would still be asleep) would come back together to eat the remainder of the snacks and play "Cards Against Humanity" until Enjolras and Cosette's dad came home from some sort of work thing, sometimes a business trip and announced that Eponine and the briefly awoken Cosette needed to go to sleep in Cosette's room, Courfeyrac, Grantaire, and Marius had to do the same in Enjolras', and Combeferre and Enjolras shared the couch that folded out into a bed. Most of the time this was around 2 or 3 in the morning, so it wasn't really a movie night, and Eponine wasn't exactly excited about it, which is why she took her sweet time, leaving Enjolras (who had already made the purchases and was waiting for Eponine to "use the bathroom") in his car so she could flirt with Montparnasse by the slushie machine at the 7/11. "So you're Eponine Thenardier, right?" he'd asked. "um yeah, you know me? I don't believe we've met." she'd responded, pretending like she didn't know who he was and like she hadn't been mentally playing out their relationship in her head before bed every other night for the last two weeks. They got swept up in conversation and before Eponine knew it, a very annoyed Enjolras was dragging her out to his car, huffing "Jesus, Ponine, I was waiting for you to come out of the bathroom for like twenty minutes I'd thought you were ill or something." but he didn't say anything about who she was talking to at all, and Eponine took that as a good sign. 

The movie night sleepover thing went as expected, except Cosette drank some coffee and made it through most of the movie before falling asleep on Marius' lap, and Valjean (Enjolras and Cosette were adopted and kept their biological last name) came home early so they parted ways at midnight. The next morning, Eponine's phone lit up with a text from an unknown number. It merely said "party at Babet's, bring your friends if you want to, this is Parnasse." She agreed without hesitation, not knowing that she would come to regret that decision for the rest of her life. That was the party where Eponine and Montparnasse spiked Grantaire's soda because he'd looked really uncomfortable and they wanted him to loosen up and have fun he'd gotten really really drunk. And then Courfeyrac and Combeferre got concerned so they called Enjolras (who couldn't go due to a family thing) and he'd rushed over so scared and angry he was in tears. He asked in a panic what happened and Eponine explained. She'd never seen Enjolras so angry before in her life. "EPONINE WHAT THE FUCK? DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT YOU'VE JUST DONE? HE'S A FUCKING ALCOHOLIC AND HE'S WORKED SO HARD TO GET SOBER. HE'S BEEN THROUGH HELL. AND YOU'VE JUST OUT HIM RIGHT BACK THERE FOR WHAT?!" He screamed at her at the top of his lungs. Courfeyrac's normally smiling face was stone cold. "Answer his question. Why?" Combeferre stood in front of the door silent, but making damn sure she knew she wasn't leaving until they had answers. "I...I didn't know and Montparnasse thought it might help him have more fun, so I went along with it. It was honestly just meant to be some stupid joke." That was the wrong thing to say. Enjolras didn't yell this time. He just went very quiet "Well, he's not laughing, is he? Ya know what, Eponine, maybe you are as trashy as everyone says you are. Find yourself some new friends. Maybe they'll share your sense of humor."

Jean Enjolras then made it his life mission to make Eponine's life a living hell. He told every single secret he knew, he made up worse ones, and things got so bad that Eponine had had enough. Everyone knew everything about her. No one was afraid of Eponine Thenardier anymore. Everyone just hated her, and made that crystal clear to her. That was around the time Montparnasse found his girlfriend sobbing her eyes out in the janitor's closet next to the gym. "We're getting back at this prick." he'd told her, and he convinced her to get Enjolras to drink something gross as a form of revenge. It was immature, but Eponine was angry, and easily persuaded. "What the hell do you want?" Enjolras snarled at her. "Why don't you leave us alone? You blew it." Combeferre added. "How's R?" she asked them. "Not too fucking great, thanks to you." Courfeyrac snapped, almost cutting her off. "Look, I know it isn't much, but I feel awful, and Montparnasse's brother works in a rehab center as a chef. He knows this drink thing that's supposed to work wonders, we were going to taste it beforehand to make sure it didn't taste bad, but we figured you might know what he liked better than we would." Enjolras held his glare but said "bring it to my place on Sunday at 4."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok yes, it's very short, I'm so sorry, but this was kind of a filler chapter, sooo yeah. Thanks to all you lovelies who liked this and please please please of you have any thoughts or constructive criticism comment it, nothing inspires me to write more than that. Also I'm writing this on my laptop, which is a pain in the butt because the keys suck, so if you see any words with like one letter missing especially if it was an "O" that would be why. Thanks a bunch for reading <333

**Author's Note:**

> Hey there, pal friends, my name is Meg. I'll try to update this as frequently as I can but it will be difficult for a little while as I'm approaching my finals week, and I'll be doing a lot this summer. I apologize if I develop a schedule and then veer from it a little in the future and I'll try to let you know about those instances prior to them. Lastly, I know there's a lot of page breaks. That's on purpose because this first chapter is supposed to feel like it's happening really fast and all in a blur in increments because that's how it feels for Eponine. It won't be like that all the time I promise. Thanks for reading!


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